Finding Hope in a Dumpster Fire: My What’s Saving My Life List
Overwhelmed by grief, chaos, or the news cycle? Let's explore what's saving our lives, so we can lean into joy and hope as acts of resistance.
Y’all, I’ll be honest: This post-inaugural six weeks has left my head spinning just about every day. I know you are probably experiencing the similar feelings because my friends who read Election Season Soul Care consistently ask me if I’m writing more on this theme.
But let’s add some fuel to the political dumpster fires: In my personal corner of the world, this winter has been wrought with impossible grief and suffering. Death, disease, and destruction are on every corner: cancer treatments, freak accidents, close calls, lost jobs, and more.
The world–my world–feels pregnant with pain and suffering right now.
How do we keep ourselves from drowning? How do we hold one anothers’ heads above water? How do we swim to safer waters? How do we get our feet underneath us?
There’s no one right answer, so I’m starting with a What’s Saving My Life list. A What’s Saving My Life list is a simple list of people, places, things, and ideas that are bringing us joy, keeping us grounded, connecting us to others, reminding us of God. Big or small, they go on the list.
Why write a What’s Saving My Life list when the world feels like a dumpster fire?
Because joy and hope and love are resistance against evil and injustice. Maybe my list items are small, maybe I can’t fight evil and injustice with big action, but my community will be better off when I bring my whole, joyful self to the table. And by recognizing what’s saving my life, I can more easily lean into those things when evil and injustice threaten my community.
In no particular order, here is my What’s Saving My Life list:
Watering the Birds. I have a bird bath outside my kitchen window, and during the winter, it only has water in it after a snow or rain. This morning, a cardinal couple were splashing around in the water leftover from last week’s snow. The water was getting low, so I filled up a watering can and refilled the bird bath. Caring for creation in this small manner reminds me to watch for how I can care for creation–human beings included–in other ways throughout my day.
Tana French Novels. I declared a Winter of Tana French in January, so I could concentrate on reading her stable of books. She sets her books in Ireland, which comes with a built in vibe. Her Dublin Murder Squad books always feature a different first-person narrator, who also happens to be the primary detective solving a close-to-home crime. I love the craft of her storytelling. I can’t put her books down!
My What I’m Saying No To list. As a recovering people pleaser, saying no is often difficult for me. I also can be a bit of a waffler–always negotiating with myself once I’ve made a decision. My What I’m Saying No To list is a curation of decisions I’ve made, businesses I’m no longer giving my money to, opportunities I’ve turned down, and more. It’s helping me recognize that saying no, for me, is its own accomplishment.
Fasting. My small group has been crawling through the Practicing the Way fasting practice that dives into the spiritual discipline of fasting, so I’ve been fasting till dinner one day a week, as well as incorporating intermittent fasting till early afternoon most other days. Separating the spiritual benefits from the health benefits of fasting is almost impossible, but I am trying to keep a spiritual mindset as I fast, especially on those long days. It feels like spiritual cobwebs are being cleared out of my spirit and soul. And I feel more spiritually sensitive. (Maybe that’s why the world feels so heavy: I’m more aware of it!)
My Weekly Writing Rhythms. Now that seminary is over, my spiritual direction certificate is wrapping up, and my business Steadfast Center is getting its legs under it, I have the privilege of creating my own job description. And my writing here on Substack is part of that job description! I have struggled with my writing voice for decades, always believing the lie that I don’t have anything new, original, or interesting to say. I’ve come around to recognize that bringing my whole self to my writing makes it original and interesting. And that has brought a whole new joy to my writing!
Coworking With A Bestie. Long story short, one of my long-time besties and I started meeting on Monday mornings last summer to touch base on what we accomplished last week, what we have to do this week, and troubleshoot the obstacles that are in the way. We’ve also added parallel working hours where we hop on a video call and get to work on our own tasks. Neither of us have coworkers (unless you count our canine distractions), so coworking is helping us both stay on task and keeping our work in front of us. And of course, we have a Slack channel!
Stephen Colbert’s Monologues. The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is on later than my usual bedtime, but I’ll catch the opening monologue if Chris is watching. Specifically, I love a reason to laugh, especially at current events. Laughter is its own form of resistance.
Delivered Dinners. I did some mom math in January to calculate the cost of uninspired meal planning, cooking, uneaten leftovers, and teenage discontent with carbs. I started looking at meal delivery options in my area and imagined that the cost per meal would be too expensive to justify the service. I had a maximum cost per serving in my head, and wouldn’t you know, the local company I found comes in under that cost per serving! All I do is warm up and plate what was ordered and delivered, there are rarely leftovers, and I can concentrate on cooking I enjoy: namely, baking cookies and bread. Total game changer!
Showing Up As Best I Can. As I said earlier, there’s been a lot of pain and suffering in my world this winter, but I find myself looking for ways I can show up for others. These are not big things. It’s sending extra text messages, putting up reminders to pray for others, lingering over a conversation, and sending random gifts. It’s also hugging my people more often, baking them cookies, and saying yes to living room blanket forts. This is all saving my life because I’m not hoarding the gift of myself. I’m showing up as I am.
A What’s Saving My Life list isn’t meant to be prescriptive for you, the reader. What’s saving my life won’t necessarily save yours. But what’s saving my life might inspire you to consider what life is giving to you in this season. And when we move through life noticing and naming what gives us joy and helps us live more wholeheartedly, we might save our lives and the lives of others a little bit at a time.
How to Write a What’s Saving My Life List
This week’s practice is, no surprise, writing your own What’s Saving My Life list. There’s no wrong way to go about this exercise, but here are a few tips:
Keep your list somewhere accessible where you can easily add to it. Create a page in your journal or planner. Keep a note on your phone.
Add to your list a little at a time. Review your day or the past week. Notice what brought you joy and what made you feel like yourself. Notice the gifts that the world brought your way.
Don’t limit or judge yourself. Who cares if what’s saving your life is the fancy aioli you found at the grocery store? Or rewatching Pixar movies as a grownup? Or pants that fit? Put whatever you like on your list!
Give thanks for your list. Let your heart be full with these blessings and turn your thanks to God. He is, after all, the giver of all good gifts and delights when we remember that he’s the source of it all.